Jonestown was a successful startup society: Here’s why

What is Jonestown?

First of all, let’s not be assumptive! This startup society’s full name was The Peoples Temple Agricultural Project, and it was headed by the charismatic and ever-so-dashing entrepreneur James Jones! The startup society housed some 900 very well-informed and voluntary arrivals – the purchasing of the land and construction of the compound were very safe and without scandal!

How could you not put your trust in him?

The newcomers to the startup society were absolutely delighted with the choice of entertainment: choice documentaries (courtesy of the Soviet Politburo) were screened with running commentary from Mr. Jones – the uproar amongst attendees sometimes warranted a re-screening the same evening, with even more in-depth analysis of the film’s message.

The Vision, Mission, and Goal

This startup society had a great relationship with its followers: many were so moved by the vision of People’s Temple that they signed over most of their possessions to the Temple, and broke off contact with their (toxic) friends and family that didn’t quite understand the power of the message.

The goal of the society was becoming closer to the truth of the universe (as defined by the non-denominational religion practiced there) and the 900+ followers were getting there, whether they like it or not!

A Success!

Rejoice! On November 18th, 1978 a large percentage of the group ingested a stimulating cocktail that overwhelmed their frail human bodies and uplifted them to a new reality! Those too young and foolish to imbibe the potion were injected – the truth cannot be sacrificed for unimportant things such as pacifism!

Let this be a message: Startup Societies are always noble and their ends always justify whatever means are inflicted upon the poor, destitute, ill, and small children! Let your spirit run wild in the creation of startup societies of all stripes and colours!

Such startup society entrepreneurship side effects may include itchy feet, a feeling of unease, existential crisis, severe depression, ritualized suicide, mass murder, 72 indictments of conspiracy, hair loss, and worst of all: consumption of capitalist propaganda.

Happy April Fools!

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